You know, it was not that long ago when blockbuster movies used to get killer marketing campaigns and tasty movie tie-ins.

Who remembers the awesome cereal boxes General Mills did with Dawn of Justice?

Or how about the beautiful flood of Force Awakens tie-ins like this modern classic Subway commercial?

Or how about Kelloggs 2008 Indiana Jones Frosted Flakes commercial advertising the random yet ‘sort of cool I guess’ light-up spoon:

So where are the Flash marketing campaigns? Where are the movie tie-ins beyond the comic book? Where’s the viral marketing? I mean WB pretty much perfected the viral campaign with TDK and The Batman – so what gives?

My thought ( took a good 4 minutes ) is that studios know modern audiences don’t care about being immersed like they used to. The  thumb-flick culture wants 15 seconds of satisfaction, a snappy tweet, and the opportunity to post a sassy comment. Or I could be completely wrong and this all could be just a calculated move to get this movie out without spending extra coin on something that features a literal madman criminal, and that will be forgotten about in 6 months.

Whatever the reason for the missed opportunity, I have a strong feeling that The Flash movie is going to be really fun – mostly because Keaton is back and I get to see Batfleck one last time. I think this movie will be so fun, matter of fact  it might just be a great summer blockbuster. And that’s why I’m annoyed with the lack of “fun” marketing or any relevant marketing at this rate.

What’s even more maddening is that the offical merch/tie-in announcement revealed that Carls Jr has a Flash movie kids meal….in Mexico. Silly for this to land in the lap of the most insignificant hamburger franchise in the world AND to only hit one country. Anways, here’s the poster of the thing most of us can’t get.

So what do we who desire more have to enjoy before the movie drops next week? What can we look at that will make us say cool out loud while doing nothing about it post movie tie-in fix?

We can watch the Flash Speed Force Action Figure commercial from Spin Master. It’s has the perfect amount of verbs, Doctor Who special effects, movie cut scenes, and actual toy-in-action scenes to make one head to the store and snag one these neat dudes but quietly put it back because that’s what you do when inflation is on and war is brewing. Look, touch, return.

So what would you want to see in a The Flash movie tie-in?

Perhaps it’s a Jiffy Lube or Goodyear partnership? Or simply a box of cereal with Barry’s ring as a prize or maybe a pop up marketing campaign tracking The Flash across major cities like Ladd, IL? How about Flash Fruit Snacks or Flash Fans because my AC is broke. These are purely 12:15 AM ideas.

Anything can happen and nothing did. I hope the Hollywood machine learns from this. I’m aware that statement of contempt implies they made a mistake. Which I’m sure they didn’t. After all the dozen data scientists, marketing gurus, and big brain Brads already calculated this because Carl’s Jr Mexico was clearly the only decision that was needed.