It’s that time of year again, folks. That’s right, we’re talking Bondvember – were we take the month of, you guessed it, November and talk all things James Bond. This is our third year running Bondvember. You can check out our very first Bondvember article here

Let us begin!

The James Bond franchise isn’t just the definitive action-movie series; it’s also the definitive musical movie franchise. No other series has produced such a steady stream of iconic theme songs. These tracks don’t simply accompany the films—they define eras, set tones, and leave cultural ripples that last for decades. And because the musical bar has been set so high for so long, choosing the single greatest Bond song ever feels almost impossible, the kind of challenge only 007 himself would dare take on. But after running the numbers through my personal Q-Branch laboratory and breaking down exactly what makes a James Bond song truly Bond, I’ve finally found the answer.

A James Bond theme should be as thrilling, seductive, and high-stakes as the character himself. It needs to strike a perfect balance between the artist’s identity and Bond’s aura—neither overpowering the other. When that balance is broken, the song suffers. We’ve seen examples of this in more recent entries. Sam Smith’s Writing’s on the Wall and Billie Eilish’s theme—whose title slips my mind even without trying—are both melancholy, somber songs that feel more like expressions of the artists’ own moods than representations of James Bond. A Bond theme shouldn’t be a sad whisper-fart; it should be a charged, electric presence that sets the stage for a spy who defies death before breakfast.

The formula isn’t a mystery. Follow it correctly and you get powerful classics like Thunderball and Diamonds Are Forever. Botch the ingredients and you end up with something that starts with promise but fizzles out. A controversial example is Paul McCartney’s Live and Let Die—a song that begins with epic force but suddenly swerves into an odd Beatle-esque detour that breaks the momentum. A proper Bond song shouldn’t lose its footing. It should rise, escalate, seduce, and strike with precision.

And that perfect recipe, the ideal fusion of artistry, drama, tension, and unmistakable Bond swagger—exists in one song above all others: Tina Turner’s GoldenEye. From its lyrics to its arrangement to Turner’s powerhouse voice, everything about it embodies James Bond. It captures both the ruthlessness of the spy and the high-octane thrill the franchise has delivered for generations. GoldenEye doesn’t just feel like Bond; it is Bond, distilled into music. It is, without question, the greatest James Bond theme ever recorded.

Which brings us to the next question: who should sing the next Bond song? If someone is going to follow in the vocal footsteps of the legends, they need more than just popularity. They need strength. They need style. They need a voice that can cut through an orchestra and still ooze sophistication. The next singer must be able to create something modern yet timeless, a theme that carries the weight of legacy without sounding like a museum piece. And honestly, the best candidate doesn’t need to be a chart-dominating superstar. They just need presence. They need fire. They need Bond DNA in their voice.

And if you ask me, that voice should belong to a woman. Historically, female artists have delivered some of the most iconic and enduring Bond themes, and the franchise is at its strongest when its music channels that combination of elegance, danger, and power. The next Bond singer should be someone capable of delivering a vocal punch worthy of the Tina Turner standard, someone who can honor the past while defining the future.

So who the hell should it be, Jock?

Well, the first ( and most common) thought is Lana Del Rey. She even had the chance but it was rejected, rumor has it. However, listening to her 24 hour song is as dull as you would expect. So, she’s a hard pass for me – despite the fact she’s one of the greatest fresh gen artist in the game.

So what, again, should be the one? Well, the 2025 Oscars already showed us that it should be none other than a human named Doja Cat!

Don’t believe me? Check her out!

It’s just that easy – people like her. She did Bond already. It just makes sense, ya know?