OHMSS:

AGENT: TGM

MISSION: Identify the Secret Faces in the James Bond Franchise.

This morning, I awoke to face one of my most intriguing missions to date – “M” tasked me with locating and identifying the secret faces in the James Bond franchise, all without the support of Q branch.

The reason for the absence of my usual support from Q branch remained a mystery to me. Nevertheless, my gut told me it likely didn’t exist. Regardless, I accepted the mission, realizing I had no choice—I’m a double-00, not some IMF agent from America.

Relying on the skillsets I had honed over many years as a master of espionage and secrets, I understood that I had to hack into the most comprehensive and advanced databases on Earth without detection. This seemingly impossible task for a layman turned out to be as easy as opening a tab on my internet browser. Covertly, I entered the multinational technology company known as Google.

Once inside, I recognized the need to extract the data before sunrise, requiring a well-coordinated attack plan. While the chronological order seemed the obvious choice, it would take too long. I needed results quickly, so I opted to start with an easy target.

001. Timothy Dalton – 007 – is ALSO Simon Skinner in Hot Fuzz

The cool wave of satisfaction rushed over me as I downloaded the information onto a floppy disc. I never linger. I had already found my second target.

002. Robbie Coltrane – Valentine Zukovsky – is ALSO Hagrid from Harry Potter

A noise from the other room alerted me that I wasn’t alone. But I quickly realized that it was a radio playing Christmas classics – but I’m a man of caution so I needed to move faster. So I did.

3. Jeremy Bulloch – Smithers is ALSO Bobba Fett

Something about the last face didn’t sit well with me. Headquarters wasn’t going to find that information strong enough. I needed faces would be damning.

004. Mads Mikkelsen – Le Chiffre – is ALSO Hannibal Lecter, Galen Erso from Star Wars, Kaecilius from Doctor Strange, Grindelwald from Harry Potter, and the notorious and famous Voller from Indiana Jones 5.

I was flabbergasted at his rap sheet. Even more so, I knew that I needed to hurry up because I felt the warm drapes of sleep cover me.

005. Akiko Wakabayashi – is ALSO Tamiye in Godzilla VS King Kong

Dawn was upon me but I don’t like the idea of going face to face with “M” with only 5 faces – 7 seemed to be a better choice. That means, if I did my math correctly, I only need about 2, I think. Damn, how I miss Q Branch and their amazing gadgets that would help out in this dire situation.

006. Yaphet Katto – Dr. Kananga/Mr. Big – is ALSO Doc in A Nightmare on Elm Street 5 and Parker from Alien

My heartbeat was racing. The mission was set but I needed a dagger. I needed a face that would blow this whole mission out of the water. After a grueling 14 minutes I found him – the man that has been on MI6’s most wanted list:

007. Rowan Atkins – Nigel Fawcett is ALSO MR. BEAN and JOHNNY ENGLISH

The mission is over. Time to close shop and deliver the file. I don’t dwell on my success but I’m also not fool enough to not have an ace up my sleeve:

BONUS FACE: Vincent Schiavelli – Dr. Kaufman is ALSO the organ grinder in Batman Returns

MISSION COMPLETED.