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I was genuinely shocked to learn that the Five Nights at Freddy’s gaming franchise is over ten years old. Yes, I don’t game. Yes, I also don’t wander the dark hallways of the internet looking for FNaF lore the way I probably should, despite owning a pop culture website. The truth is out, gentlemen: I’m a fraud.

Before we quest on – if you are interested in owning the glorious FIVE NIGHTS at FREDDY’S BLURAY, IT’S AVAILABLE IN BLU-RAY/DVD/DIGITAL bundle!

I digress.

My strongest memories of this thing called FNAF didn’t come from a screen, but from the toy aisles at Target and Walmart via my stepson. When my stepson came into my life, he already knew the lore, every secret, every theory, every grotesque little detail packed inside those animatronic monsters. I remember being genuinely surprised that something like this had gained enough cultural traction to warrant an entire line of plastic toys.

As Bob Dylan once said, the times they are a-changin’.

And I suppose I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore. My kid recently told me about that Skibidi Toilet thing, which—of course—now also has a toy line. So yeah. Here we are.



Back on track.

I saw the first Five Nights at Freddy’s movie with the kids a couple of years ago, and I was pleasantly, no, genuinely, thrilled by it. It was a fun film that fully committed to being its own strange little world. The scares worked, the music was excellent, and the atmosphere was perfecto. It understood what it was and leaned into it.

So this morning, we went to see Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 in theaters. It was just me and my six-year-old. My stepson is currently making business moves in business school, being a full-on business head. So it was just my mom-and-daughter day.

She really wanted to see it, which surprised me, considering she hadn’t technically “watched” the first movie—at least not in the way adults do. I figured she’d been too busy playing with toys to absorb much of it.

Foolish of me.

Kids absorb everything. She knew the world, the characters—at least as much as a six-year-old reasonably can. I checked Common Sense Media, skimmed a few reviews, and decided to take the gamble.

It paid off.

The movie was fantastic. There were a few intense scenes where I strategically covered her eyes, but honestly, the scariest moments were the jump scares, and by golly, the Marionette is absolutely terrifying. The story is a bit clunky, sure, but it’s effective enough. I found myself smiling, nodding along, and occasionally playing human blinders for my kid.

The Five Nights at Freddy’s lore is fascinating. It really is. Part of me wishes I’d embraced the creepypasta era back when it was exploding online, but for whatever reason, I rejected that wave. Still, I’m genuinely looking forward to eventually playing the actual game, something I’ve never done. That feels like the final step into this weird, blood-stained Chuck E. Cheese universe.

I’ll probably fall down an internet rabbit hole soon, see what’s out there, and, somehow, end up buying Popeyes chicken, a brand with possibly the worst marketing instincts in modern history.

Anyway. That’s my blurb of the day.

Go enjoy the fun franchise called Five Nights at Freddy’s – it’s gonna be huge.

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